5 Benefits of Infertility Counseling

Many people may think of infertility in terms of a medical diagnosis, but it encompasses much more than that. This experience can deeply affect various aspects of life, including social interactions, emotional well-being, relationships, and even work. It’s essential to address each of the affected areas to fully understand and cope with the impact of infertility.

Every infertility journey is unique, but one thing is universally true: the journey comes with a rollercoaster of emotions.  Working with a therapist who understands the complexities of infertility can be a vital resource. 

During a time when your world is turned upside down and you are busy enough, you may be wondering, “what’s the benefit of infertility counseling?” Let’s dive in and find out!

A Safe Space for Anger and Jealousy (and Many Other Emotions)

Your best friend is pregnant, and you just received the invitation to her shower. You feel a surge of anger. Then the guilt sets in, and you think, “I shouldn’t feel angry; she’s my best friend- I should be happy for her!”

This is just one example, but for people going though infertility, reminders of pregnancy, children, and parenthood are everywhere.

Most people tend to suppress that anger because they believe they “shouldn’t” feel it. Counseling can provide a safe space where you can express all those angry thoughts. Be angry; say the mean thing- get it out.

For many, what we uncover is that it’s often easier to be angry than it is to feel sad or devastated. The takeaway here is that you are not a horrible person for feeling angry or having these thoughts.

Together, we can explore the duality of emotions and the idea of feeling multiple emotions at once. You can feel both anger and joy for your friend. This realization can help reduce the guilt that often follows anger. You have enough on your plate- let’s lighten the load where we can.

Figure Out What to Do with the Avalanche of Emotions

It’s no surprise that the journey of infertility comes with a variety of heavy emotions. Aside from trying to ignore these feelings or staying busy enough to distract yourself, what are you supposed to do with them?

There is no right answer for how to deal with these emotions, but there are many options! In therapy, we can explore together to find the tools that work best for you.  There is no one-size-fits-all approach; it’s a trial-and-error process, but you’ll have guidance from a professional.

I often reference a metaphorical “toolbox” of coping skills with clients. In this analogy, the therapist provides support by laying all the tools in front of you, instructing you on how to use them, and tailoring their application to your needs.

Better Communication with Your Partner

There is no denying that struggles with infertility can cause disconnection in the relationship between partners. When stress is high (for any reason), this has the potential to leak into relationships.

Working on communication can help improve your individual mental health and the quality of the relationship.

Individually

Individually in therapy, we can work to clearly define your concerns, fears, or hopes. Becoming clear on what you want and being able to communicate it can make a difference.

Couples Therapy

Attending couples therapy or coming together for sessions intermittently can be a game changer. Counselors can help to facilitate difficult conversations between partners. The ability to be objective and see your relationship from the outside allows counselors to spot areas for improvement more easily.

Improve Understanding

Misunderstandings in communication can lead to unwanted conflicts. Let’s try to reduce misunderstanding by intentionally creating time to sift through each perspective. You might struggle to see your partner’s viewpoint, and counselors can help to break it down in a different way.

Learn to Reexamine Your Control

One aspect of infertility that makes it so difficult is the lack of control. It’s hard to wrap your head around not having control over such a vital part of your life.

There can be benefit in shifting focus toward what IS within your control. There are many things still within your control, and these can help make positive shifts in your mental health, such as the boundaries you create, how you respond to your emotions, the support you utilize, and your self-talk.

Here is a reminder: the mental shift toward what is within your control does not have to erase the hardship of the things out of your control. The goal here is to create space for both. 

Objective Help for Decision Making

Not many people expect to experience infertility. The journey can take many unexpected twists and turns. Even though each journey is unique, each one involves decision-making.

With such an important topic in your life, these decisions can’t be made lightly. The stakes for decision-making feel at an all-time high, and this is paired with an emotionally vulnerable time in your life, making even the most decisive person struggle with decisions.

Therapy can help by providing time to explore your personal values and goals. These values will guide your decision-making, enabling you to make the most informed and intentional choice.

Julianne Peters is here to help you through your infertility journey to overcome symptoms of anxiety and depression. Feel free to reach out to Julianne to get scheduled and work together!